Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize