So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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