His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
