My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
