I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
