it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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