I could have mohawked her pubes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
