he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
