Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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