i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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