Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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