yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize