well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
