PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How does it feel to date your dad?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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