Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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