She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
