it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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