thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
