she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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