At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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