arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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