you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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