Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Alive.
So much puke
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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