My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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