your thong is hanging out like whoa
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
