Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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