you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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