So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize