Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
