at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
