i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
