Porn is love you can see.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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