Sry I called you an 8
She said her name was "party"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
