So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
