Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
