remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
