Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize