she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
