To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
