mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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