She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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