and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
