So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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