well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i need some magic done to my vagina
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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