so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just had sex bonerless
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize