Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
