Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize