butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
our cab driver is having phone sex.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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