i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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