All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he was CRYING into my vagina
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
