Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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