I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
