You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
