Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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