you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
