Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
