There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
