i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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