Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
